Ever get the feeling that something is either missing or wrong in your life, but can’t seem to put your finger on it? It could be that your fundamental values are being ignored, or trodden on, without you even realising it.
What are core values? Core values are the things that are important to us – they are principles or standards of behaviour; your judgement of what is important in life – eg, integrity, trust, honesty, financial security, independence, relationships, privacy, courtesy, respect etc.
Where do values come from? Sometimes we inherit values from parents and teachers, and these can conflict with our own values causing considerable limitations and problems – they can make us feel guilty because we do not ‘do’ or ‘think’ what we believe we ‘ought to’ due to an inherited value based on what somebody told us we ‘should’ do or think when we were young. Values are unconscious – they operate outside of our awareness. Sometimes they help us to achieve the results we want, but occasionally they can operate to achieve the exact opposite.
Why is it important to know about them? Our values help us to make choices in life about what we commit to. When you put time and energy into something that goes against or neglects one of your core values then you will start to feel frustrated or resentful, or have a niggling feeling that something is not quite right.
How do I prioritise my values? We subconsciously prioritise our values, and devote most time to the top four or five.
What happens if you are not honouring your values? Values are the qualities that define you, that are at the very core of who you are. Without these things you would not be you. If we devote time and energy to something that violates or neglects one of our core values we can start to feel frustrated or annoyed.
What if my values conflict? Sometimes values can conflict, eg – wealth and spiritualism. This can create conflict and emotional upheaval.
What are your values? List 10 values that are important to you: things you truly believe in. If something or someone makes you sad or angry, turn it around and decide what the opposite positive value would be. Then list your values in order of importance. Are you paying attention to your top 4 or 5? Do the people around you respect your values – at work and/or at home?
At Purple Tree Therapies, I use NLP, combined with hypnotherapy and counselling techniques to help clients define and sort their values in a safe, confidential and non-judgemental environment. You can make an appointment to see me at my practice in Evesham, and have a free, initial 30 minute session to see if you’d like to work with me to help you identify and nurture your own personal values and move forward in your life.
Please accept this blog in the spirit in which it is offered. I am intending only to give you some light hearted food for thought here – not reams of indigestible facts that you can find elsewhere all over the internet. If any of the suggestions ring a bell for you – great. This is a simplified version to give you a taster, so if your problem is more serious, and you feel you need more in-depth professional help, please contact me. I can help you identify any underlying issues that may be holding you back, and allow you to kick-start the process of moving you forward again. And of course, if you feel the need to visit your GP please go straight away. NLP, hypnotherapy and counselling are not a substitute for professional medical advice, but a complementary therapy. Thank you for reading this, and I hope to meet you soon.